I wish I could never miss. Baseball, football, basketball, bow, rifle, field artillery, trebuchet, newspaper, whatever. Any projectile, any target. I saw a guy toss an aspirin in the air and shoot it down with a bird point arrow shot from a recurve bow. I don’t care for beer that much, but if I could do that I would probably never have to buy one again..
I wouldn’t even try to be a sniper. There’s so much more to it than shooting straight. I’m thinking I would probably join a softball team, most likely a church league. It would be interesting to see if they would still want me around after the season was over.
The Terrible Idealist 
I have a whole section of an unpublished work where a musician inherits a female celebrity softball team that plays for charity donations. And they’re terrible. His job is to convince it doesn’t matter “if you can hit a cow’s ass with a banjo” because the point is the money, not the athletic performance.
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I heard about the cow’s ass and the banjo on a show I was watching. I almost choked. Trade ya. If someone is bad at something, life, for example, they can be said to blow goats for beer money.
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The first time I heard it was bull’s ass with a bass fiddle, but in context that was too much bat.
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You’d have to be a Big Bad John kinda guy to strike that mighty (And dissonant) blow.
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